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Now I am Ready…

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There has been questions from my friends, blogger friends, family and just everyone who surrounds me.  What happened?  Why it ended? 12 years was wasted, Who decided? and all sorts of questions were thrown at me.  I know I didn’t make a huge Break-Up post in my blog and even some of my readers were not able to realize until, they have to hear it from me.  With all the happy, romantic, love posts, the almost 12 years relationship with whom I considered my second best friend has ended.  It was tough, it was a mess, hurtful words were said, drastic actions were made, who said break-ups are easy?  It is awkward, knowing that you have spent over a decade with a person you thought is the one.

If you would ask me, did I cry?  Did I felt any pain? Regrets?  Was I hurt? 

I am also human, I get hurt, yes I cried once or twice, falling down on my knees and thinking why did I let go?  What did I do it?  What have I done?  But I am glad that I have the support of my friends and family, who has always been there to hold me and tell me that everything will be okay.  I remained strong and I never looked back, I continued to move on.

Was I selfish?  Was I being unfair? 

Perhaps, in the eyes of others YES, but in the eyes of the people who knows me, who understands me, NO.  It was not a selfish act, I did myself a favor of bringing back myself, of loving myself again.  I have lost tracked of who I am for the past 12 years, I did not even knew I neglected my friends, my family.  I didn’t realize that I have hurt a lot of people because I was delusional.  After all, as the saying goes, everything happens for a reason.  There will always be a reason for realizing your faults, going back to your roots, asking for forgiveness and reconciling with the people you have hurt.  It took me 12 years to realize that, I know I was so blinded with my delusion.

Break-ups are hard, I do not want to go further on the reason why I broke off the engagement, the promises, the foundation, relationship and friendship.  It may look easy because, I was putting up a strong and happy face, but at the end of the day I end up alone, thinking and praying that what I did was right.  I have already asked a million sorry to him, for hurting him, for breaking his heart.  It was hard, but I am thankful that after all that had happened, he was able to understand.  He was able to see that I am happy now, time will heal all the wounds, time will pave way for us to find ourselves again.  Time will come for the right person to love us.

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It took me a long time to write this post, because it was still a bad, dramatic break-up, but I am more than happy that he is now moving forward, he said sorry for the hurtful words he said, for his actions and all the pain that he has caused me.  With that I have finally closed the longest chapter of my life.

As I begin a new one, I have finally realized how beautiful my life is, I have opened my eyes to believing in love again.  I am always the hopeless romantic person but my heart has finally opened up a space for me to love again.  Now, I am ready, I do not want to rush and find love, I do not want anything express, I am just ready to find the end of my little red string at the right place, right moment with the right person.  Now that I am whole again… I will continue believing in LOVE and that one day I will find Mr. Whoever you are!!!

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so this is me… after all the post break up drama… :)

I never thought being single makes you Glow like this hahahah!!!

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6 comments

  1. Sweet,

    I did wonder what went wrong suddenly and was about to ask you about it but I held on because I wanted to respect your privacy and allow you to heal personally. I´m glad that both of you have moved on and I know that someday, somewhere you´ll really find the RIGHT ONE for you. In the meantime enjoy life and your new found freedom!

    Lotsa hugs,

    Che

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